To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the cow say to the dog? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down -28

girl. have you seen my duck man. yes he is with me right now girl rely you have him man. yes in my diner girl. d.i.c.k. man.f u

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why didn't Sarah come to school today? She had a heart attack and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

roses are red and violets are blue so is your mums fanny

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do u call 30000 Mexicans rolling Dow a hill. Hahaha your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Hitler has a certain "genocide-quaw" about him

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" Then the horse left because that question is racist to horses.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you drown a dumb blonde? Hold her underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Knock knock! Who's there? IT DOESN'T MATTER, YOU'RE NOT COMING TO MY HOUSE!!!! *closes door*

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A duck walks into the bar, buys a beer, steals your woman, wins a bar fight, pistol whips a police officer, departs and shouts Aflac

thumb_up thumb_down -30

There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Roses are red, Violets are blue, these two statement are obvious unless you are color blind

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. It is a coincidence that none of them have the same hair colour.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What color was the black guy's skin? Brown

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the teenager turn in his work on time? He chose not to procrastinate.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops