A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

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What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

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Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

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Why is a duck? Because one leg is both the same.

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what did the duck say to the other duck Quack

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how many members of the australian greens party does it take to write legislation? none, it's already been done for them by Karl Marx

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Yo mama's so fat that when she went to go get an x-ray, they had to use the one they have at the zoo.

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

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Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

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Why can't the man get a good jod? Because he did not go to college and there for did not get a good education.

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how many black people can you fit in a car? However many sets there are.

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What do you call a Jew talking on a cellphone ? Well one should mind his/her business and shouldn't call people names and discriminate against them on religious or ethnic grounds .

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Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

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How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "who's special?"

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Why did the blond have a wierd look on her face? Because she was ugly

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Why don't black people listen to country music Because every time they here hoe down the think there wife just got shot No sorry for anybody who's black I luv ya don't think twice I have thirty blk friends

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What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

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Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

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A praying mantis is very graceful

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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