If you can cut half a rope. You can cut the whole rope.

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my brother yells at me for singing in the shower so i scream "how can you hate from outside the tub when you cant even get in?"

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

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Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

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Why were you at a funeral? Someone died.

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? I could explain officer. You see, I was jogging and I was looking for my dog and she went on to me and I told her to stop but she wouldn't listen. I'm innocent I tell you! Innocent!

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What did the penguin say to the peacock? Die, you homosexual!

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

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Knock Knock No one's home Okay, I'll come back later.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to take three harpoons to the chest and still manage to feast on a family of baby seals...... Hi my name is Joey

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How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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old people are like slinkies...they arent really good for anything but brings a smile to ur face when they're pushed down the stairs...just think about it ;)

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Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

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What happened to the baby in the microwave. I don't know I was too busy masturbating off to it in my clown suit

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what did the apple say to the orange ? nothing, apples are a fruit and do not have any organs which allow it to be able to talk.

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What didn't the artist buy at Best Buy? A Ziploc Bag full of AIDs infested zebra pubes.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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who is an indian that can not shoot a bow and arrow? David

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops