a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

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Yo mama so ugly that she often has trouble being attractive towards people of the opposite gender

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OMG, I have a really funny alzheimer's joke. Your'e gonna love it! Uhh, I umm kinda forgot what it was now.

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Knock Knock No solicitors

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A man walks into a bar. It resulted in a concussion and 17 stitches.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Q: Why did the Honey Badger cross the road? A: Honey Badger don't care!!!

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How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your pork? Finding half of a worm, because the worm you just ate is going to live in your stomach, breed, then come out your butt. Or the Apocalypse.

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Why was six afraid of seven? The world may never know.

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you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You don't want to be my valintine I'm going to shoot myself.

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Roses are red My balls are blue Get off Unless You want too

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

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Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

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What did the dog say to its owner? well as you can see it is physically impossible for a dog to speak english or any other langueges such as french, spanish or chinese.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by a serial rapist.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

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So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

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Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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