A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

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What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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What happened to the young baby after her mother died It grew up got a collage degree and had a great life growing up with her dad and visiting the cemetery every year

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Why are ginger's jokes not funny? Because they're gingers.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

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What did the husband say when his wife startled him as she appeared coming out of the kitchen? You scared me.

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Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

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dyslexic's Untie

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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what happend when 3 white guys and 3 black guys try out for a basketball team? They all made it because you need 5 people on the team and it is good to have an extra person on the team in case some one gets hurt, fouled out, late for the game or dies.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

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Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE HERE'S A KNIFE KILL YOURSELF KANE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Getting laid at the special Olympics.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

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What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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