What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

what is so funny about billy? nothing he is dead and if you laught at him you are the biggest jerk by: Brennan pickrell

What is blue and roles about on the floor A baby playing with a plastic sack

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a retarded failure

Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

A rabbi, a nun, and a homosexual walk into a bar. They proceed to get drunk, and party like its 1972. Oh yeah. And your dad was just killed by a refrigerator.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

Q: When is a door not a door? A: Before it has been asembled or after it has been taken down and no longer maintains the physical form of that which a door typically has.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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