How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

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In my opinion I am superior to you all in every single way,an opinion you might disagree with, but can respect. While on the other hand, I have no reason to respect and even less agree with your inferior opinions at all.

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what does STFU stand for? the southern tenant farmers union.

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You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

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Whats big and red and eats rocks? A big red rockeater.

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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knock knock who's there? john john who? john opens his mouth only to be gunned down by a terrorist attack

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ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

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How do you make a Dead Baby Float..... ......With 3 scoops of ice cream and 1 cup of liquid stem cells.

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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The trick to making a good anti joke is having anticlimactic ending.

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Why did the teacher's cat die? It had cat herpes and feline immunodeficiency virus

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What did the mexican firefighter name his 2 children? Jose and Juan.

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Why did the accident happen? The breaks on the car stopped working. Why did the breaks stop working? The driver was drunk.

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Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

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Why was the little boy late to school Cause he walked on a landmine

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Yo momma is so dumb, the tests came back positive for mental retardation and she has been given an expected life expectancy of 2 years.

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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a bunch of guys did cocain for the first time. they later died from a drug over dose.

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A black man, a chinese man, and a dog decide to have a race. Unfortunately, they are shot by a sniper on a roof while still in the planning stages.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

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Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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