:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

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Why did the nun cry? 12 babies were killed under her care.

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 397, IF you have a big tounge

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Whats dark, has an opening, and guys like to go into it? A Vagina

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Teachers be like "Hold on class, I am almost done with my lesson!" Students: " Aint nobody got time 4 dat!"

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What is smarter than a blind Mexican midget of average intelligence? A genius

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Two homosexuals walk into a bedroom, and begin to have sex.

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I got on a bus, and immediately found that sitting on a bus is boring. I will never climb on top of a bus again.

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Four men are stranded on a small desert island. The first of them decides to build a raft out of bamboo, but it only has room for one passenger. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouted to the men on shore as he left, but a band of pirates killed him in the middle of the ocean. The second castaway was more clever, and built a submarine out of bamboo and sealed it with hides of animals they had killed. He counteracts the buoyant force with sand. In this way, he planned to avoid the pirates by being underwater. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he exclaimed as he sealed the one person sized chamber of his submarine, but not far off shore, he runs out of oxygen and suffocates to death. The third castaway learned from the mistakes of the first two, and in spite of the unpredictability of handcrafted aerial vehicles, he makes a glider. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouts from the hill top of the island as he leaps off and glides over the horizon. Though the journey is fraught with peril, he makes it back to civilization and is reunited with his family. It is expensive, but he prepares an expedition back to the island where his fourth comrade remains. It is worthy to note that on this small island, all the means of making shelter had been used up in the construction of the raft, submarine, and glider. The fourth castaway was found dead from exposure to the elements.

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Did you hear the one about the Mexican that went to college? All his life, Juan wanted to get a decent education, but was unable to due to his family's low income. So Juan worked hard all his life, and got a part-time job. He made a little cash here, a little there. He also studied vigorously, getting a 33 on his ACT. All that work eventually paid off, and Juan was eventually accepted at Princeton University. Juan is now a highly paid Neurological surgeon, and has saved countless lives

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

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What's 2+2? Fish

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

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What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? Nothing, chimneys can't talk!

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What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

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What is better than tissues? Correct!

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I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

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Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

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What do a pizza man and a gynecologist have in common? They are both hardworking members of the community!

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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