Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

why did victor have a tube on his neck he was helping james with security

why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

dont you love porch monkeys? no.

A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

what did the girl say after she got hit by a bus, nothing she was dead

Why did the Christian man dislike gays? Because Christianity views being gay as a sin, and as a follower of the religion he decided he did not like gays.

Why was the boy sad? A crazed drifter killed his family and made him watch.

Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

How did the hot blonde get a promotion from her boss? She worked really hard and achieved more thaan her coworkers.

I got shot in the balls now i'm pregnant?

Your mum so ugly that she isn't married

A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

A hooded black man walks into a pharmacy, he caught a cold due to the gelid weather and bought some medicine for himself.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...