Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Whats the diffrence between a white and a black guy? one of them is black

What comes out of a zit? Purple poop.

Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw his gas bill.

Q) How many boring people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) One

Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

What did Michelle Obama get for Christmas? Cancer

knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

Whats happening when you see your TV floating at night? You are probably suffering from some sort of mental disorder which causes spontaneous hallucinations and should seek medical help before the condition worsens.

Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medication prescribed by her doctor.

What more orange that a lime? Most things.

What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red pain is spilled on it.

can you pass the soap?

There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

Q: How do you know if you have had too much to drink? A: When you find a bloody hole where your kidney is.

Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

What did the mother say when the train hit her? Bad train! We don't hit!

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

Whats worse than getting a B+ in Biology? Getting raped by a scorpion.

You know that song "FIrework" by Katy Perry? Well, I ate a hotdog last night.

Knock knock Who's there? A Jehovahs Witness

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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