Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

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Hey babe, do you like going to sleep without shoes on? Because most people find it more comforting to remove footwear in order to rest and relax peacefully during bedtime.

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whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

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There is a famous joke, "What's black and white and re(a)d all over? A newspaper!" However, this is not featured on this website. Why? Because this is anti-joke.com, not joke.com - you moron

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What's worse than 10 babies in a trashcan? One baby in 10 trashcans.

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If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

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Why did the boy cut his hair? Because he was large.

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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how do you confuse a brunette? paint yourself red and throw a fridge at her

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What did Cinderella wear at the ball? Clothes

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

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What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

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What Batman said to Robin before they got in the car? -Get in the car Robin!

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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Your mom is soo black , she can go naked to a funeral.

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My wife came up to me and said, "I want you to make me scream with 2 fingers!" So I poked her in the eyes!

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how many jews fit in an oven? none, its illegal to put a person in an oven....

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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How did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it died. how did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the other monkey.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops