Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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What do you call a black man fishing. ... a fisherman racist.

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Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

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I'm pretty sure you can't throw a fridge...

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happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

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What is black, white and red all over? Something that pertains those characteristics

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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A plane crashes on the border of the U.S. and Canada, where were the deceased buried? It turns out that there were passengers of several different nationalities on board, all of which were buried in their respective homelands.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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Q: Why did the boy not laugh at the Anti Joke? A: Because he has no sense of humor

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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what is the worst thing to find out about for wife she is your arm

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An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? Nothing... he looked him up and down and spat at him instead.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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quantum physics?

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When life hands you lemons...you should probably get yourself checked out because life is an abstract idea...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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