Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

Refridgerator.

What's harder than breaking up with your girlfriend? A stone.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

Holocaust jokes suck. Anne frankley, I won't stand for them

What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

Why can't Molly ride her bike? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Molly.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

What do you call a black guy that drives an airplane? A pilot.

So a black guy goes to college and doesn't steal anything or rape anyone. He has a 4.0 GPA and is one of the smartest students at Harvard University.

Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

Their were three business men going on a trip, they had only one bed in the hotel so they had to sleep in the same bed. The next day guy on the right said i a great handjob last night and the guy on the left said the same thing. The guy in the middle said last night i was dreaming i was skiing

Today is jessica's birthday and she is turnig 6 She walks in the living room to tell her dad its her birthday. Jessica"Dad, Dad guess how old i am today!" Dad "How old?" Jessica"6 dad im am 6". she walks into the kitchen to tell her Grandad Jessica" papa papa guess how old i am today" Grandad"Well for me to know this you would have to take of your panties" as he tells her she did as she was told. her grandad fingers her and smells her panties. He tells her "You are 6 today" Jessica"How did you know" Grandad"I listen as you told your dad in the dinning room".

Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

What's as hard as a rock? A rock

what do you get when you have an albino black man, a lesbian middle eastern siamese twin of the female gender, a polygamist indian and a jewish native american? A very cultured and diversified posse of hostages. Take your pick.

jacob mckeand broke his arm and now he cant wank :(:(:(

Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

yo mamma so black, she was left out in subzero temperatures for an extended time period and suffered major frostbite all over her body, causing it to become grotesquely black.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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