Welcome to the anti-joke Olympics! As you can see ladies and gentlemen, our contestants are starting to look very excited as the "who can look the most bored" competition is just about to begin! We are terribly sorry to announce that as for the butterfly style contest, all of the butterflies drowned :( While at this corner, we can see these contestants have been waiting patiently for hours for the "who is the most impatient" contest to begin! While over here, none of our contestants have yet to make a chicken cross the road and tell them why! In the meantime watch as we mistreat these Jews in order to find out what is worse, the holocaust or a worm in your apple! So far our contestants with worms in their apples are complaining more, but dying significantly less, how will this end! How exciting! Finally our swing contest has been cancelled as Sally refuses to get on it! Moral: BUT WILL IT BLEND!

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What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picker her up and then they had sex.

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What does the fox say? Nothing a fox is incapable of speech.

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how do you have sex? i dont know im under age!

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What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

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How do you get a dog to stop humping you? Pick him up and suck his dick.

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

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Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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What was the blind man doing on the bridge? Getting struck by lightning.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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Q: What did the psychopath dream about? A: An insane chimpanzee kicking his head off, or maybe something normal

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How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

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Why did the prince kiss his beloved just before going into battle? Intermission.

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What is the opposite of Obama? Mitt Romney because he his white and a republican so all is good with him.

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What does a Twihard, a Brony, a Belieber and a Gleek all have in common? They all ruin the Internet.

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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