What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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A drunkard walked into a bar, and up to the bartender. He proceeded to **** the **** until he ******. I proceeded to break down in immense frustration over censorship.

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What's the difference between an ant and a dinosaur? They are both birds, apart from the ant and the dinosaur

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Yo mama's like Darfur: Everyone feels bad for her, but nobody offers any substantial assistance.

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what is the difference between two trees? it doesn't matter because motorcycles don't have doors

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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what do you tell a black man getting hit by a police baton? that is racial inequality, and you no longer have to take that due to Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate you so suck on poo.

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That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Q. A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for a book on suicide? A. The librarian hands the man a book on suicide

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What did the black police officer say to the white police officer? We just got a call in. Four dead children were found in an alley behind a mall.

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A Mexican and an African American are in a car, who is driving? The Mexican, while the African American rides in the passenger seat.

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What did the gay man die of? Obesity.

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What's worse than being caught in a downpour? Having your kneecaps ripped out of their sockets.

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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Three black men was in a car. They were going on holiday.

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What is big, hard, and bushy? My Penis. I lied about it being bushy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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