Why didn't the plane crash... because of the wight male piloting it

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What does greg and Ian have in common?

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

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A chicken crossed the road. It was run over before reaching the other side. by fast asleep

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman

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How did Helen Keller's parents discipline her? Hopefully not too sternly. There's not much trouble a blind and deaf girl can get into, one would imagine.

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How do you put elephant in refrigerator? Open the door, and put the elephant in

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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Salt: "Hi there!" Slug: "AAÀAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!" *dies*

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why did the mexican steal the money? because he was financially struggling and needed the money to support his family

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Do you believe that if I theoretically am unmatched in many ways, would feel less alone if I decided to become more like the rest?

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Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? It's socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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Stop making fun of Stevie Wonder, you dont seen what he has.

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I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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