what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

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Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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what happened to those kids sandusky raped? who cares

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How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

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So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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what did the anorexic girl eat today? nothing..

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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A dancer walks into a barre

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how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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