i am a slasher, a slasher of prices to get to the other side. poop goo goo gaga

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Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

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How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

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Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

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OMG, I have a really funny alzheimer's joke. Your'e gonna love it! Uhh, I umm kinda forgot what it was now.

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What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

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Why are soccer players sad? They couldn't play Football.

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haha

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That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

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knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

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Yup, I 100% agree with all the jokes that were made below this post. Chad's pretty gay.

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You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

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A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

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What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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Yo momma is so dumb, the tests came back positive for mental retardation and she has been given an expected life expectancy of 2 years.

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whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

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q. a whale walks into a bar. The bartender asks"why are you wailling?" A. I my 3 year-old son died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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