why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the house. knock knock. who's there? the chicken!

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

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The word "Walter" is never funny.

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whats worse than catching your parents having sex? having sex with your parents

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What did the man say when he realized that he was late for work? "Shit, I'm late for work."

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Whats worse than getting broken into by a robber? Looking at Obama

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what has hair? Organisms, or at least most do.

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You die of loss of blood, under a pile of first-aid kits

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Two kids are playing basketball. One says to the other, "FAILMUFFIN!" The basketball flies out of bounds.

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What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Beacuse he got kicked out of the bar

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LeBron in the fourth quarter

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what did hellen keller name her dog? answer: unnumnumnum

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A black and a white man walk into a grocery store the black man buys fried chicken and the white man buys vegtables. The men both have different opions and enjoy different food groups.

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What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not intelligent enough to realize the hazardous dangers of crossing the street.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there could be several reasons. The sight of another chicken, its wondering imagination, but because chickens cannot speak, therefore, can never know the true answer.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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when there's trouble lurking in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? The local authorities.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being hit by a plane.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

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Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

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How do you confuse a blonde? The same way you confuse a brunette or redhead, hair color has nothing to do with an individual's intelligence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops