If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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Why did the chicken cro- Oh. He got run over.

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yo mama's so fat, that he doctors are slightly worried that she may be suffering from type 2 diabetes.

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so your snowboarding in the dessert and all four of your tires pop. how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house. the answer is B. 500 squids

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

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What's worse than an arrow to the knee? -A bullet in the head.

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What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

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What did the black kid down the road get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

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why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? I dont know lets go play on our bikes.

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How do you get out of a car with only a baseball bat and a hammer? Unlock the door.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

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Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

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Why couldn't the girl find a date to the prom? Because she was really, really ugly.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops