A man walks into a bar. He gets drunk, goes home, and beats his wife and kids.

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

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Yo mamma is so dumb, she bought a Wii and was satisfied with her purchase

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? Nope! I'm a person! - SMC Digital

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knock knock? whos there? danielle danielle who? danielle the liar...hehe

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What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

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What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Meow

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What kind of shots does John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

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Kinky = using a feather Perverted = using the whole chicken Weird = using chicken bones Downright disgusting = all of the above, plus a cat

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Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

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Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

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So two people have conversation Luke: Hi Logan: Hi Snake eyes: ALHSKjagjdaoggj;jdjg;aj;kaj'dgajd Luke: You are so smart! (you retarted piece of poo) Logan: GAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBEEEEEEN

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What do a priest, a rabbi, and an asian have in common? They all don't know each other.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops