why did the man paint his house? cause he never wanted to mow the lawn

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: "My wife's dead."

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What do you call three black guys in a bar? A bar.

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What do you call it when an old person cuts off their fingers? Dementia

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What's the difference between a Lamborgini and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Lambo in my garage.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Charles. Charles who? It's your brother Charles. I came straight here from the doctor. I was just diagnosed with stage 4 testicular cancer.

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A woman walked into a club. Or at least, that's what her abusive boyfriend told the police.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I forgot the rest, Don't laugh at me...

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roses are red violets are blue porn hub is down your mums facebook will do

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Your momma's so obnoxious, your dad left.

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What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

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My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

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whos a sick fuck? jake morris

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What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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How do you stop a man from jumping off a building? Push him off a building.

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You know what's funny about Fox news? Nothing. Lying to the public isn't funny at all.

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Your mom is so fat she is larger then the average person.

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What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

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Do not lose hope, you have always considered me hard to get, while this time, I came to you. Next time too, I kinda owe you.

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how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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I started a pottery course where the two instructors looked like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze. The only other student looked like Whooping Goldberg. This teacher to student ratio proved invaluable as I am hoping to make a living as an artist and really appreciated all the extra attention.

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How do you save the world in 2012? You aren't. 2012 isn't going to happen!

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Why did the man have a finger coming out of his ear? He had a birth defect.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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