Why is the baby on fire? Because there was a gas leak at the day care facility. It would have been a terrible tragedy had a heroic babysitter not come to the rescue.

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::ring::ring::ring:: Hello? Is your refrigerator running? Yes, yes it does! Why? I work for a local home appliance superstore and we are having a special on repairs and maintenance. Would you like to try our home appliance maintenance offer? I'm sorry no! I do not actually have a refrigerator. I only have a cooler. Bye! ::the man shuts off his cell phone and sets it on top of his styro-foam cooler as he mumbles to himself alone while on his boat, "Darn advertisement offers!" and continues to fish in the middle of the lake::

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Some potential names for Justin Beiber's next album: Headache Wailing and Screaming Eardrum Rapist Anger Half Price Indescribable Out of Print April Fools The Sounds of Hell Torture Ear Basher

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whos on the right track? lady gaga

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Q. bob had 93 chocolate bars and ate 74 what does he have now? A. diabetes

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra

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I typed in in a Anti-joke and realized it was kind of hard.

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What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

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Every 5 seconds a child dies in Somalia. Good news is there are 4 second intervals when a child isn't dying in Somalia. I say kill them all

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One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

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In Soviet Russia, you wouldn't have a likely chance of surviving because of Stalin's mass paranoia and total neglect for his fellow man.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

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A man with Azheim - Eh, I forgot what it was called.

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

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What do you call a full refrigerator? A freezer

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe Well one is a human, beating heart, and the other is a small boat you row in

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What do you call a KKK member? ...racist

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What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

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What do you call it when a black man kills an Asian man? Murder.

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Tourettes Kid. Touret- FUCK SHIT!

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What's Blue And Fat? A Brick. I like to lie a lot.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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