who is really lanky? james cornish

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks an assistant, "Can I buy that TV"? He says, "Sure, no problem." She then walks out of the store, happy with the purchase that she made.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

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why did the mexican steal the money? because he was financially struggling and needed the money to support his family

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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why did the kid fall off his bike he had a serious illness which made it difficult for him to play sports

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Yo Momma is not fat.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did the black guy get hit by a banana He was low on potassium and his friend threw the banana too hard

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

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A man walks into a bar and orders two shots the bartender then picks up his shotgun and gives it to him

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A. Knock Knock B. There is noone home so the individual goes home

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why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

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I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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What's Kanye West's goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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Q. How many grains of rice can you fit in an egg? A. Fire extinguisher.

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What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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