What'd the mexican get for his birthday, birthday cards from his friends and family.

What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

Their was once a man named Bob Clemens who really wanted to have sex with an underage girl. So one day he went on an online chat site to find one. He ran into this young girl and told her all the things he wanted to do to her and she told him that she had never done anything and really wanted to try it. Bob went over to her house one day and she told him to sit down and grab some cookies while she came back. She came back and Bob gave her the roughest pounding that any human being could recieve.

How many kids does it take to fix a light bulb 5 1 to fix the light bulb and the others to get in the van

Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

What's worse than an asian driver? A blindfolded asian driver.

Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

VITAMIN C!

What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

Why did the KFC worker dislike his job? He was paid lower than minumum wage due to the plummeting economy.

No, Sarah. You know your hooks scratch the keys.

your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

Why wasn't the black man served at the bar? Because they didn't serve his kind there... Did I say black guy? I meant to say a horse, wait, did I say bar? I meant the barn, yes, a horse walks into a barn but they couldn't serve him because he wasn't tamed

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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