Why did the Black man buy some slaves? They were his family

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What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? He didn't because he forgot to precede crossing the busy street with caution; therefore he was critically injured and then placed in a hospital.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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What did the dinosaur say to the caveman? Nothing. Dinosaurs were wiped off the earth due to a tragic, world wide extinction about 65 million years ago while small mammals which would eventually evolve into humans survived.

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

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Q:What did the boy do when his girlfriend cheated on him? A:He broke up with her because cheating is wrong and he deserves better.

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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When lives gives you lemons you might just be dyslexic, because life cannot actually give you lemons

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

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Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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THAT'S RIGHT, BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER BOUGHT. LOOK WHAT A GREAT JOB IT DID ON THIS PAGE YEAH! I RECKON IT IS THE BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER DIDN'T SEE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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