Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

A man came home and witnessed his wife having an affair with another man. The husband and wife got into a huge argument and eventually got divorced

Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

ask me if im a fence are you a fence WALNUTS!

How many dyslexic people does it take to ruin Christmas? One, because they murdered you mother on your birthday.

how much did the asian man pay for his operation? nothing. he's dead.

my brother yells at me for singing in the shower so i scream "how can you hate from outside the tub when you cant even get in?"

Did you hear about the Irish man that accidently killed himself,he farted in the bath & drowned trying to smell it

Why didn't the black boy get any presents from Santa? Because he isn't real.

If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

A black, white, Asian, and Mexican are walking down the street. This is showing a good diverse community.

Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

What was sandusky's role at penn state turned tight ends into wide receivers

Q :Whats the difference between a truck load of bowling balls and a truck load of dead babies? A: I don't have a truck of bowling balls.

What do you call a penguin in the desert? Most likely a dead penguin.

How many TV shows are there? A lot.

The Pope, a Rabi and an Islamic religious leader go into a room and come out with what? A new understanding of each others cultures.

What did the panda say to the other panda? We are fuzzy Oreos

Hey! I just met you. And this may seem crazy. So here's my number: Now Get in the van.

if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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