Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

how many Amish men does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but the likelihood of an Amish man needing to change a lightbulb is very slim.

Q: Why did the Creeper explode? A: Cause you invaded and took his land that was rightfully his. He's not the monster, You are!

whats fun,atracks children and says wrape van on it my van i lied about it being fun

Curiosity killed the cat, Oh wait, I thought the dog did.

You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

Why didn't the young child commiserate the death of his grandparents after they were simultaneously crippled by a tremendous avalanche whilst skiing? He didn't exist.

Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

Joke: two polar bears were in a bath tub. One said "pass the soap." And the other one said "no soap, radio!"

What's the difference between a trash can full of dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

why was the girl eating a pie , because she were hungry

There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

what did the judge say to the lawyer during a trial. He said We are all in a court. thus concluding that the judge was retarted.

Why Are Parking Lines White? - So You Can See Them...

A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

Why was Nathan upset Because his sister died from an undiagnosed case of tuberculosis

A: Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? B: Not really. This is an interesting fact. Any other facts you have? A: yes ("A" was lying)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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