How does an asian man drive? He hops into the car, turns the ignition, slowly accelerates from his parking spot and merges into everyday traffic

Jack and Jill went up the hill. Jill was dehydrated.

Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Nobody because Repeat is a good friend and he went in after Pete.

why do woman love the twilight books? i have no idea woman can't read

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

What's just not right? Left

What grows best during the cold Winter season? The number of deaths among homeless people.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

What's the difference between a ginger and a brick? Bricks get laid

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear turns to the rabbit and says "I have colon cancer."

american idol

there is a black guy and a mexican in a car whos driving? a cop

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Rhyming is hard, Zebra.

Why did the Nazi Doctor drown a Jew in the lake? To see how long it would take a Jew to drown with its big nose. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

Q: What did the Catholic man say in response to the gay man asking what he likes to do? A: golf

A woman stopped making sandwiches.

Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

How do you stop a plane? Land it.

Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

How do you stuff a giraffe into a refrigerator? You can't, giraffes are too big.

A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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