Guess what? What. This joke isn't funny

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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Knock Knock No one's home Okay, I'll come back later.

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Why couldn't the man walk? He lost his legs when he stepped on a land mine in Afghanistan.

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a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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What was Hitlers first toy? An easy back oven.

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what time does the japanese guy go to the dentist? well his appointment was for 11:30, so he might show up approximately 5 minutes prior to the appointment time, just to make sure everything goes steadily as planned

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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What did the rabbi say to the Muslim? I don't know I wasnt there. But it probably had something to do with their varying religions.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

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Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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Thank you, you remind me that I am not insane, just because I believe we humans can accomplish more, by uniting as one, rather than fighting one another. I feel as if I belong somewhere else, yet the question remains always, are people such as you better, or are we relics from the past?

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Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

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You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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