Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." Then there is silence and a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone the guy says "I shot in the air and my friend heard it and moved. I think he's still alive." The operator says "Good that means he's still breathing and he's not dead."

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A lion and a cheetah raced each other and the cheetah won Lion: "man you're a cheetah!" Cheetah: "no you're lion!" Then the cheetah tears off the lions head and feeds it to their babies

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Why did Maggie shit herself? Because she saw her son.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Seriosly. too much sex again?

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Knock knock Who's there Orange Orange who Orange

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

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a guy walkied into a bar... he really got hurt

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What do you get when you watch Cinderella backwards? A woman who learns her place.

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Why did the serial killer need the knife? He needed to butter his bread

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What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

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what did the 3 year old get for her birthday? nothing she died of terminal cancer at the age of 2

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

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A amazing I idiots D discover S sex

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I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my tip and call me Regi.

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Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

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What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

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Knock Knock I have a f*cking doorbell you asshole

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One day a black guy bought some fried chicken. The clerk said: Lol you guys always eat chicken! Lol said the black guy, yeah I am here a lot. Clerk: No I meant your kind of you know... I KNOW WHAT? Clerk: You guys at the studio next door! Oh, yeah, lol I almost thought you meant my skin color! Clerk: You fucking Negroes always thinking we are racist...

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i found the cure to cancer.......AIDS

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My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she died of pancreatic cancer.

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Why didn't 6 like 7? Because 7 was a huge racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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