What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

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what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

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What goes in long and hard and comes out wet and sticky? A penis after orgasmic intercourse.

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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What's worse than eating half a worm? Eating somebody's brain.

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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asking someone to check ur broken wing mirror to fall into that persons arms by accident is not a good idea

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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A black man walks into a KFC. He buys a bucket of chicken, then distributes it to several homeless men he supports off of his meager income because he knows their situations are much worse than his.

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what does the sloth say to Jonah reincastle? nothing Jonah is the sloth

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look im not better than you, your a ten im a two your a queen im a fool you got looks i got scares u got talent i got beuty to its a win win

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Why did the constipated man go to the bathroom? To intentionally throw up; he has an eating disorder.

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roses are red hula is hula when i walk in cass i see a big tula

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What did the wizard say to the man? Wizards aren't real. Thus not able to speak.

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An Irish man sips at a large beer. Oh yeah and your mother's a whore.

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whats big red and eats bricks a big red brick eater

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Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

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I'm at a payphone. Though I'm out of change so I'm unable to call my girlfriend and break up with her.

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what's the difference between a virginia, and steve keen? a virginia is,nt a knob

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Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is promptly arrested for sexual harassment.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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