What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

why did the chicken cross the road? i have no idea, i dont know what goes on in a chicken's brain. the better question would be why was a chicken loose in a city

Three examples of how santa is gay 1) he says HO HO HO 2) he sneaks into your house at night from going down the chimney 3) he knows when u r sleeping and he knows when u r awake BONUS............. Better not pout, you better not cry, better watch out im telling u why.........SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN

Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

what did the guy think who woke up with his hands and feet nailed to a barn. IS THIS BECAUSE IM BLACK!

Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

-Bumper Sticker- Honk if you love Jesus. (Text while driving if you want to meet him)

Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

whats black white and red all over an abused child

:Knock Knock :Don't be stupid there's no door here.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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