A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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Every Good Boy Deserves Fibromyalgia

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What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you smoke, the blacker your lungs get.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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Are you black? Kill yourself.

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A Jewish boy walks up to his father and says: Dad, can I borrow 50 dollars? The dad responds: 40 dollars?!? What are you going to do with 30 dollars?!?

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A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

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whats ironic about a white van being white the driver usualy is not

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

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Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

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How do you save the world in 2012? You aren't. 2012 isn't going to happen!

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Why did the man have a finger coming out of his ear? He had a birth defect.

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Whats worse than having a worm in your apple? Having one in your intestins.

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how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

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Do not lose hope, you have always considered me hard to get, while this time, I came to you. Next time too, I kinda owe you.

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How do you stop a man from jumping off a building? Push him off a building.

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What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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