Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because KFC was hiring

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cot Death.

Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

Why does austin bell like it up the butt? Cause he's a cat a kitty cat meow meow meow and meow meow meow

CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

Which deranged adventurer thinks that (one`s unprotected cranium) is stronger than (a brick structure) Mario. he keeps bashing his head on blocks in attempts to prove his own worth

How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

Q: You know why the floor is so clean? A: Because the janitor puts a lot of hard work into it.

What do the holocaust and new born babies have in common? Nothing. Except some babies are born in Germany.

Roses are red Violets are red I have Ebola

The child was fired from his job.

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

What do you call a black priest? Father, and then whatever his name happens to be.

What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

Why was the man lying under a sheet. Because he was dead.

Who is big and stupid My brother

What do you call a guy who likes men? Gay

What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? Nothing. He won't get them for the rest of his life.

Q.How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb A.Babies are to young to screw in lightbulbs

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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