How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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Why did the old man get the anti aging cream ? He failed 8th grade 50 times.

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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wanna hear a joke? womans rights

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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One time i was sitting down

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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What did the man say when he put his penis in the blender? Arghhhhhhh!

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

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What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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Barak Obama, Justin Bieber, and Lindsey Lohan all jump out of a plane. all of their parachutes deploy. except Justin Bieberrs, he then dies of cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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