Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

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An American, a Mexican and a Cuban are in a car. For they are heading to the store to buy groceries and then come home to make dinner.

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Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

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How do you make a Cowboy cry? You kill his family.

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knock knock who's there Bob oh hi, come in

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An Irish man, an English man, and a Scottish man are standing on the edge of a cliff. The English man and the Scottish man both fall of. The Irish man calls the authorities to alert them of this tragic misfortune.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why did the Cross chicken the road? Because it wasn't the way to the Lord

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A man cooks dinner almost every night even though his wife is the better cook, and the man is in charge of the household. Why? Because the man isnt a sexist douchebag.

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Q. How much Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A. None, they just steal one.

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How do you write an anti-joke? With the keyboard Or voice recognition software

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If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

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I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

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Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

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Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

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How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

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Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

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why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Two giant paint bubbles!

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whats white? everything thats not black, yellow, pink, red, blue, orange, purple, green, indigo, turquiose, grey, brown, khaki, gols, silver, bronze.

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What did thirty starving Jews fight for on the train ride to Birkenau? A crumb. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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What do you call a fat jew? A person that most likely has an eating problem and needs to seek help from the nearest rabbi

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your mom is so black that it can be assumed she is of african descent

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What did the mother say to her child that was washing the dishes? "Sweep the floor."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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