Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

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How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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What do you call a man with an eight foot steel spike wedged in his rectum? An Ambulance

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

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A cow went into a meadow and ate some grass. Some time later he wandered off.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don't hammer the watermon

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Did you hear Whitney Houston died? Yes.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

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Why did the Muslim boy crash a plane into a building? Because the remote-controlled plane suddenly malfuctioned and crashed into a nearby apartment complex.

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roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

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This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

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girl. have you seen my duck man. yes he is with me right now girl rely you have him man. yes in my diner girl. d.i.c.k. man.f u

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Why was the young girl sad? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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Making fun of Charlie Sheen is like shooting up in a barrel.

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what happens when you put Rihanna and Chris brown in the same room? Rihanna dies

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

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What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i dont like to rhyme, but i do like to poo.

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How do you get a elephant in a fridge? You open the fridge and put it in. How do you get a Rhino in a fridge? You take the elephant out and then put the rhino in. All the animals in the animal kingdom are at a meeting, what animal isn't there? The rhino, his in the fridge. How do you cross a river full of alligators? Walk across the allligators are at the meeting.

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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