The worst part of waking up, Is no Folgers in your cup.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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So, two men walk into a bar. But the midget walks under it.

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What do u get when you mix a young asian woman and a black man? Tiger Woods

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I slept through the Dark Knight movie....turns out I was pretty tired.

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Ich bin nicht der Anführer

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Why did the clock say 10:30? It was a digital clock!

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A man jumped off a cliff and wished he could fly. He was hit by a plane

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I'm rick james bitch

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What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

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A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

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Why did the Jew pick up the dollar on the side of the road? Because he dropped it.

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Q:How many pieces of paper can one tree make? A:Trees cannot make paper, people make paper from trees. So the answer is none, a tree can't make any paper whatsoever.

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what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

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What is black and white and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a harpoon through her back.

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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How do you keep a black man inside? Shoot his leg.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks. The rest of the bar patrons are thoroughly confused.

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A White, a Black, and a Hispanic man walk into a bar. They sit down and have a nice conversation, tip their bartender and then leave.

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How many people does it take to paint an elementary school red? 27.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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