AIDS is not a lifestyle it's a choice - and you chose wrong.

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Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

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What would happen if the whole world farted at once?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? That's right.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs skiing? Skip.

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What's the difference between tiger woods and Santa clause? Tiger woods is a thug

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

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Why did the boy go back in time? He didn't. He was mutilated by rabid apes.

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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RIDE A PONY, RIDE A PONY

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Fed-Ex, here's your new brother.

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The cast of the 'Jersey Shore' is the worst thing to happen to the Jersey shore

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Why did the pregnant Mexican cross the border? Nobody knows. She was shot down on site.

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roses are red violets are puffy i am a donkey i ate some water

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What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

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Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

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What is six foot three, plays basketball, and is black? A black dog with basketball skills and takes steroids.

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Why did the Harry Potter fan cry in school? She ran out of tampons.

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michaelangelo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops