what happens if you fart to hard? A.you shit yourself

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Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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You walk by a boy and see he is playing with poop. You ask the boy what are you doing? He says I'm building a office. You ask him why he says "because I don't have shit to make a building"

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man in a gorilla suit with a banana.

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What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

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Two kiwis are in a fridge. Suddenly, the door opens, and one of them is pulled out by a human hand. He was never to be seen again.

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…What did you put in the drink that made me fart, and kill my horse?

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Why did the boy chuck a fridge at the other boy? Because he broke his toy train.

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What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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A dog walks into a bar. He's a service animal, so this is allowed.

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why was one black guy surrounded by ten white guys...... he was a story teller.

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How do black people vote? They go to their polling place, register, then vote for their candidate on election day.

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Dad's writes on son's Facebook wall: "Dear Son, How are you? All are fine here. We miss you a lot. Please!! TURN OFF THE COMPUTER & COME DOWN FOR DINNER!!! by darragh hamilton

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There are 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and sexy guy. They all work together and have lunch together. The fat guy opens his bag and eats a ham and turkey sandwich. The skinny guy opens his bag and eats a tuna sandwich. The sexy guy opens his bag and eats an egg sandwich. The fat guy finishes his meal. The skinny guy saves half for later. The sexy guy ate more than half of his food. A genie magically appears. The End

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What can you tell by a black guy who walks into a bank with a ski mask on? His face was severely disfigured in a horrific accident.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because the mas of the ice-cream gathered up enough potential energy to increase the velocity of said ice cream making a mess on the ground.

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Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

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A man walks into a bar. It resulted in a concussion and 17 stitches.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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