How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

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What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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Things i like to do when im bored; chase after ostriches take major dumps masturbate give myself major erections EJ

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Q: what smells like cheese and tastes like cheese? A: cheese

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What did the dealer say to the addict? Sup.

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What's big, green, has 4 legs, and if it falls out of a tree will kill you? A pool table

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A rat and a pig rape a puppy. Hey, that's just life.

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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How do you kill a bunch of flies in one swat? Smack an African kid in the face.

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What do you get when you mix a Refrigerator with a dog? Nothing. That would be impossible.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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Why did the black man go to Jail? He was visiting his friend!

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what do you call a kid with no legs and no arms some one who will nevaer forfill there bucket list cause they cant write it

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Why did the cow go over the hill? He didn't. He was pinned and slaughtered in a private owned animal torture facility.

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Today i saw 2 midgets walking.........now there hanging together.....in a tree.....by there necks,,,,...............I f***n hate midgets

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there are three girls one said daddy why is my name rose because a rose fell on her head when yur a baby. daddy why is my name feather because a feather fell on your head when your a baby mumamhama, SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!

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A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Paul was mowing his lawn when he felt a bump. It turned out it was a bunny. Paul felt bad but the bunny felt worse

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Why was the little Asian boy crying at the county fair? He had just watched his entire family get brutally crushed beneath the weight of the old ferris wheel as they went to get on. Never would he forget the painful screams of his mother as her blood splashed onto his white t-shirt. Never would he forget the police car ride to the foster home when it all sank in that they were truly gone. And never would he forget the abuse his new parents would inflict on him daily. But what would forever torment him most were those screams. Those persistent screams that woke him in the night until the day he died many, many years later.

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What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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