What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting a handjob from Edward scissor hands

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Urine is yellowish and shit is usually brown... That's it, I was just remembering the colors of some stuffs

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Q. What is worse than a worm in your apple? A. Hitler

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How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

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Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

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Man U

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What's black an blue and doesn't like sex? The 8year old in my trunk.

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Q) What did the Irishman get for his birthday? A) Drunk

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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My zombie busting team: Tank: The Terminator Mechanic: Tony Stark Demolitions: Superman Medic: Gandalf Bait: Justin Bieber

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Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

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What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

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What do you do with a leg less dog? Take him for a drag.

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What happens when the hydro goes out for 1 second? 1 minute? 1 hour? 1 day? 1 month? 1 year? -1.8 people die. 105 people die. 6,306 people die. 151,338 people die. 4,603,198 people die. 55,238,376 people die. Aw shit, then you have to take account for how many people die of starvation :\, and the ones who froze to death, and the ones who died from heat stroke, And the ones who died of Alzheimers.

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what did the woman say? 'duhhh, i don't have a penis durr durr' (By the way, I'm trying to be not misogynistic, please let me know if you find this misogynistic in any way)

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

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How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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