What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding poo in your shoe.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

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That Rachael chick needs to get back in the kitchen

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Knock Knock. READ THE DAMN SIGN IT SAYS NO SOLICITORS!!! ... yeah.

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What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

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That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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an american walks out of a strip club.

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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I am thinking of a number between 1 and 100 what is it There are many numbers between 1 and 100 so it is highly unlikely that I will guess the right number

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What happens if you jump on barbed wire, but break your fall? You hurt your arm as well.

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Kid One: "Hey, you! Do you know how to spell "I CUP'?" Kid Two: " Sure, F-A-G....G-O-T..." Kid One: ".........."

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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What do you call a bunch of white men sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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