Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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Why did the old man get the anti aging cream ? He failed 8th grade 50 times.

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Why did the man go to Lourdes Because he has lost all hope

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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knock knock. who's there. gestapo.

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wanna hear a joke? womans rights

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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