What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Who more attractive then you? No one your ugly as pooh.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How does a black man laugh? He schuckles

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do Germans treat the Jewish? Kindly, and with much hospitality.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

is it normal to be sexualy atracted to numbers?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what's the worst way to fall asleep? sad. it makes you lose sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

There is no "i" in "team," but there are two in "indigo."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? Because they weren't invented when he was alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is the difference between a pillow and a rock The rock could hert you.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

If you were a booger, I'd pick you and then wash my hands directly after because boogers are gross

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: Why does it take three Polacks to change a light bulb? A: Because they're so damn stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why did the plane crash?.............the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why could the black person jump higher than the white person. because the white person had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was the asian boy abused? He got an B in math

thumb_up thumb_down -21

If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Old McDonald had a farm. He grew corn there, and got reasonably wealthy. Then he retired to the Bahamas.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops