Q: Whats red and not a penis A: A lot of things

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What do you call a growing family of micro-organisms? Cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to

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Why is Joe is ugly? I dont Know

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the beer from the other man and throws it on the floor, breaking it. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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What do tigers dream of when they take a tiger snooze? Mike Tyson

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A stipper walked into a club, though it was a golf club so she tripped and cracked her skull on it.The end.

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A Canadian walks into a bar, he rubs his head, steps around the bar, and walks into a bar. He has a great time hanging out with his friends and having a few drinks

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Why did the horse escape from his stable? He didn't. He stayed there all night and his owner took him out the next day as the weather was beautiful.

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A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

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Knock knock Who's there? Derek the crazy man in the village and I have come to shoot you.

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Knock Knock. Shut up.

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Kids, your mother and I thought we should tell you this now... You know our dog sparky? Well he... was actually Osama bin Laden and is now dead!

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haiku for you ladies and gents My mother once said, "Slow and steady wins the race" She died in a fire.

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A blonde takes a math test it says find x? She circles x and puts there it is!

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Grace Ackerson

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Whats worst than being raped by a black guy? Being raped by two black guys? You racist i'm calling the police.

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Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and their friend Satan asked if they heard about Jesus, and they said No.

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Roses are flowers.

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What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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Donald Duck walks into a drug store and asks the lady behind the counter for a bag of condoms. So the lady says, "Sure thing sir, would you like me to put that on your bill"? Donald says," THIT(Shit)NO, I'LL THUFFOCATE! (Suffocate)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops