If god himself had a religion he would be a self centered bastard.

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Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

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How many light bulbs? 1

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? Everywhere

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I wumbo, you wumbo, he, she, wumbo, wumbology the study of wumbo

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

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I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

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besides saying "Oh, Yeah" and punching down walls, what does the kool-aid man do? drink cool aid

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...................__ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( BroFist

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Two members of the KKK walk into the bar into a bar. The bartender asks, "what do you think of Obama?" One of the KKK members says "he is my President, I respect him."

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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whats the difference between a black man playing basketball and a white man playing basketball? They are different races

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What does a homeless guy do when he's hungry ? Nothing, he has no food.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

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One time there was a guy who jumped off a bridge and died

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Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally Why can't Sally finish her ice cream She has no arms How do you fit Sally into a box? Put her in a blender. How do you get her out? A straw.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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my friend got in a car wreck,he lost his left arm and left leg. how is he now? Hes all right.

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How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

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whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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