What's grey and can't climb trees? A parking lot.

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What did the father say to his son? ....nothing

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Why did Johnny throw the clock out the window? His parents are never around to supervise him.

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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the world, He broke his foot because every human being that kicks such a solid structure would break their foot.

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Why did the bird plummet to the earth? It was shot.

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Q: What happens when two planes both crush a tower in New York City? A: Bad news.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Umm... Why would it not?

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How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

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What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

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one morning i turned on my tv

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hi jonny

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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If I could Rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and Q together.

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What is the same about a Duck and a Pickle? Neither of them can ride a bike.

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Wow, that is one of the things I would think I would react all bad to, but that`s, a strangely attractive quality in you.

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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Q: How do you turn a purple panda into a red panda A: Feed it grey poop and because it tasted so bad it got so mad it turned red.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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How do you beat a black in sports. "shot him when the game starts"

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An Asian couple walks into a bar, orders a few drinks, pays, and leaves

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Boob

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What is the opposite of pro? Con right? So what's the opposite of progress? Congress

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Nock nock Who's there K K who? You forgot the K

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops