rock crushes scissors, scissors are useless. scissors cut paper, little stips of paper are usless. paper covers rock, structure of rock remains intact.

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Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

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what would happen if american army lost their air supprt ? lmao

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How do you confuse a blonde? You put her in a round room and tell her to find the corner.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger at Terminator: Gaynysis (or whatever I wont bother checking that out) YA NEED TO REMUV THE QUANTANAMO TRANSLACATOR TO RELOCALIZAYSEE THE INTERDEEMENENTIONAL MAYTREX! Yes, Pops but what about the time travel Paradox? YOU NEEED TO REMOV THE CRISTAL PALARDOXAL WARCALIBREITOR IN ORDA TO DESINSTONYSE THE DEEMENTIAL CORDALOXEY! Me: *Leaving the cinema* Moral: If you thought the trailer was like "meh", then you will soon realize it was the best part off the movie... The only part that is meh, and while I can honestly say I dont understand shit about how timelines work in Terminator (The creators dont do it either) Having Arnold Fucking Swartsnigger go with the Geek lingo DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! To explain things to me, NOTHIIIIING!

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A Chinese man... pulling another Chinese man in one of those carts behind him.

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-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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knock knock whos there santa santa who .....long pause he doesnt exist now go shoot urself

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What is black and white and red all over? A dalmation that was hacked to death with a machete.

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If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

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They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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Why did the blonde fail her driving test? She was paralyzed and had down syndrome.

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Is that a banana in your pants or do you just have an abnormally large penis?

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Theres an irishman , scottish man and a welsh man on a plane they where going to france

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You no what the biggest lie in history is? Agreeing to the terms and services whenever you sign up for a website

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How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

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Why did The white man loose his black friend? Because he ran away.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Why are hurricanes named after women? They're wet and wild when they come and take your car and house when they leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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