Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

This week only, 2 for 1 misdemeanor shop lifting arrest. How can I do it? Because I can.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

You look like Susan Boyle f**ked Snooki and then got hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many Russians can you fit in a Mini Cooper? It depends on how big they are.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's faster than a black man running with a VCR? His son with the receipt of purchase as they realize VCR's are clearly outdated and must be returned right away.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Did you see Stevie wonders house? Neither did he.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

thumb_up thumb_down -14

The GOV and the WHO?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Have u seen stevie wonders new house? No. Niether has he

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q.what has big ears? A.your vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: Why did the mom try to wake up a sleeping bag? A: Because it's morning and her kid is curled up inside fast asleep

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the spy cross the road? To get to the other hide.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a black flying an airplane? A pilot you racist bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what do you call a guy with no arms or legs and wearing red and white in the ocean? a dead person and someone needs to call the cops cause thats terrible.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Pop Fiction last words. guess who edition: "Okay okay you win again Batman! Ahahaha hohohoho hehehehe! Wanna hear a new jo... Eh... what are you doing with that gun?" "Why did I not just take a step or two to the side during the five hours and over thirty episodes he kept charging that Kamehameha?" "Bah I cannot die as long as my ego is full! Are these really the ratings on my latest game? H0moerotic? Childish? A sociopath? Oh man..." Moral: Your red thumbs cannot hurt me! Im the moralmanBitch! HOAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what did the bus driver say to the black man when he got on the bus? nothing, carl has become very anti-social since his brother died

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Bible Games aka Bible Buffet: SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Sometime after the death and return of Superma... Jesus. God: RAISE FROM YOUR GRAVE! Jesus slays holy white beasts: POWER UP! POWER UP! HOMO UP! Uh did he say homo u... ARGH! CANNOT CONTAIN LEVEL OF HOMO! TURNING FURFAG/ALTERED BEAST. A wild Saten appears!: WELCOME TO YOUR DOOM! Jesus used gay wolf punch, it was not very effective... wild Saten uses OMFG HE TEARS OFF HIS OWN HEAD AND THROWS IT AT JESUS! Its super effective! Jesus Dies. Moral: Second coming? He came back to meet his disciples and crap AFTER quoting "ill be back", did he promise some third coming? Is that why people have been waiting for over 2000 years? :P

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops