What name do you call a woman who is pregnant? Her first name.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Q; What is green and eats rocks? A; The green rock eater... Q;What happens when you through a rock straight up in the north pole? A; The green rock eater eats it..

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What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

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Uh Oh you just fell, So, So I've got one thing to say to you, And what's that Don't fall it gets you down!!!!!!!!

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? nothing.

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What is the best way to eat a dead baby? I don't know. That is incredibly disgusting.

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why shouldn't you get a clown angry? Because they'll yell at you.

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what is white on top and black on bottom Society What is black on top and white on bottom Rape

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why was a woman not considered in the role for a stunt driver? Because her skill level was not sufficient enough for the requirements.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner? He hurt himself.

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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why wasnt johnny in math class?....he slipped and cracked his skull on his way there, he is now recovering at the hospital

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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What's sad about 3 black people going over a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac's seat 6

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Good job, son.

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Three men walked into a bar. The last one ducked.

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*knock knock* i have diarrhea

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What is the worst party ever? Nazi.

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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A man walks down the street past a flamboyant homosexual male and kills him in a hate crime. This homosexual was Dylan Glogowski

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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