Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

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Albino African Americans

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

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What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

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What brown and sticky? A sticky turd

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse becomes depressed. He didn't ask to look like this. He drinks himself into a stupor, and then crashes into another car on the highway on the way home, killing a family of five. The horse is now in jail for life.

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A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

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Where do you find a dog with no legs ? Same place you left it ...

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What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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How did the rabbi die? It didnt it lived through the shooting

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

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How did the man kill the black fly? He called the KKK fly and had it lynch the black fly

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because Suzie was a cucumber.

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Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops