How are black people and apples the same They both hang from trees

Why did the cookie go to the doctor, beause he was feeling really crumby...becuase he has testicular cancer

How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a butcher's shop. The priest and the minister each by a pound of pork while the rabbi doesn't because one of the 613 Commandments is that a Jew shall not eat any animal with hooves.

A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

Stand back, I don't want to hit anyone with the axe.

"Have you heard the one about the trannie?" "No, what is it?" "Wow, that's offensive." -Juanita

#Getweird

Whats the difference between a black guy and Luke Skywalker? Luke met his real father

ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, I OFFERED YOU SOME CEREAL, MADE OUT OF MY DOGS POO BY VICKY AND RENATA WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

A man walks into a bar. It was his push-up bar that he didn't install high enough. He bumps his head and it hurts.

Jamie stegman liked doodle alot. Yummy he thought to himself as it entered his mouth.

My dog barks when someones at the door.

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: One is a human while the other is an unidentified flying object.

There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They are all trapped in a jail cell. Eventually they all starved to death.

Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

I forgot to tell you something I forgot wat it was

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

Q: What happened when lost John lost his crack cocaine? A: He bought some weed.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Heroshima

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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