What's brown, smelly, and will never have a job? Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Lebron James got a new iPhone, but he has to keep it on vibrate because he doesn't have any rings.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.It is a very simple task for somebody who knows what to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

In Opposites Land, you might think the opposite of small is big. But no, it's nail clippers.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Shah I'm being chased by a man riding instead a pig in a caravan smoking Apparently I'm a man riding on a pig in a caravan smoking

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's black and white and red all over? Half a black face and half a white face after going through a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -16

did you hear about the circus fire? it was tragic and hundreds of people were killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

when u cant say fuck say firetruck because it starts with f and it ends with uck ?firetruck?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the black man have a gun in his hand? He was crossing through a dangerous neighborhood and was offering protection to himself and his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A new born baby is left alone in his crib after a long day of playing, He gets taken out of his crib for his first meal with his grandparents, he is excited, His grandparents come in and after the usual praising of the child they sit down for dinner, They are having chicken, His mother puts the spoon to his mouth, He chews it and swallows it, It gets stuck in his throat and he suffocates and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the rooster cross the road? Because he wanted to prove he wasn't a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Riddle me this, riddle me that. I'll eat your f^cking cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did Steven Hawkings say as he fell down the stairs? .................

thumb_up thumb_down -16

-You know what will always get people fighting? -Hey, you wanna fight?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is both blind and deaf, and doing so would put others in danger.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats the fastest way to be murdered tell your wife your cheating on her

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what did the guy say to the goose? i know you don't understand but my life sucks. my wife just dumped me for another man and my kids hate me. thank you. you are the only one to understand.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Two black males walk into the bar due to circumstances they had to go home early one of them has to leave early to tend to his ill wife, and the other enjoys his night drinking and making small talk with new friends

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops