What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

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Why is the little boy sad? His parents died in a car crash.

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A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No

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Have you heard that Bert & Ernie from Sesame Street are gay? If so, than whoever told you may be mentally challenged, Bert & Ernie are both puppets which even though they resemble people with active personalities, they remain puppets and do not have a sexual oreintation.

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What's the difference between a person who can differentiate an anti-joke from a joke and one who cannot? Other than being able to tell the difference between the two types of humour, it is impossible to tell, as no further information is given.

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a black, mexican, jewish, and white man fall off a cliff, who landed first ? all at the same time, they all died and there familys sued the clifff and commited sucicede

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because blind people aren't allowed to drive in the United States.

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A depressed horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "Millions of years of natural selection." The horse then tries to drink away his sorrows, but the alcohol is only a temporary release from the pain he's feeling. He kills himself the next day.

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96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

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why did the kid stop eating his breakfast...two Penn state officials knocked at the door

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A guy walks into a bar

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Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. FBI who? The FBI. We have your house surrounded. Pervert.

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Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? To get his chemotherapy

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"DUDE! THERE IS A KNIFE IN YOUR LEG!" "SERIOUSLY!"

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one stop shop

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why did you poop because you are a poop

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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A gorilla walks into a bar. It goes on a killing spree, and is promptly put down by animal control.

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why did I fall off a tree? cause i wanna to

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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Why was the All-black Basketball team disqualified? Because they all died in a hotel fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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