What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

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Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

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What would George Washington say if he were alive? "Help! im stuck in a coffin!"

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What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

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Three examples of how santa is gay 1) he says HO HO HO 2) he sneaks into your house at night from going down the chimney 3) he knows when u r sleeping and he knows when u r awake BONUS............. Better not pout, you better not cry, better watch out im telling u why.........SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN

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Yo mama so fat - - That your dad left her, and it's tearing your family apart

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Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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What did the man say when he saw a tornado coming his way? "Oh my god, that's a tornado. I better get out of its way so I don't get injured.

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What would make African women very happy? food and healthcare for their kids, and a proper education.

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This is supposed to be an anti-joke.

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What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Roast Beef is a solid and Pea Soup is a liquid

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Thumbs up if u dont have aids:)

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What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because the The husband told her to...

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What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

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Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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What is "race car" spelled backwards? rac ecar.

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Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

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Why did the boy run a marathon? because one of his good friends had just earlier passed away from pancreatic cancer and he decided to honor his memory by raising money through a 5k run. His family, friends and acquantances were all very proud of him and decided to hold the charity every year.

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What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

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Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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